- replies
- 3
- announces
- 0
- likes
- 4
@affine @prettygood i wouldn’t call it communism. think it’s more like people realizing that social norms around relationships don’t work for them, and are actually a source of pain.
my own experience is that because of my history of emotional neglect and lack of connection with other people, the distance of “normal friendship” is difficult to handle at times, and that i feel especially drawn to other people like me. it’s like i really want a chosen family, maybe to fulfill a need for the closeness and warmth i didn’t have in my childhood. my trauma comes with that feeling of being alone on the wrong planet; of being very different from most other people. and this would give me a sense of belonging.
apart from all that, love just feels good, and i think we all need more of it. i see no reason why we should treat it as some sort of limited resource we can only give to one person. because it’s really not like that.
also the language around “normal” relationships is very restrictive. you can either be friends or partners, with nothing inbetween. no matter how many qualifiers you add, it’s all loaded with assumptions about hard boundaries that must not be crossed.
@affine @prettygood yeah i know, this just came to mind and i wanted to post about it
if anything, i see a kind of capitalist artificiality in non-poly relationships with their rigid contracts, dating increasingly resembling job applications, and love becoming sort of a hyperinflated currency.
of course the freedom from such structures in polyamory also comes with a lot of responsibilities you don’t have to worry about in a monogamous relationship.